modestmgmtofficial:

identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat down and started taking notes. the next day steve came in and was like did u guys see my brother jake yesterday lmao we switched schools

New favourite joke:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

raptorific:

The improv team I was on in high school only had one rank: “co-captain.” If you joined the improv team, you were automatically a co-captain. It wasn’t to make everyone equal within the club dynamic or anything like that, we just all knew that we would have to list extracurriculars on our college applications, and you could make yourself look more impressive by putting “co-captain” without specifying how many other captains the team had or how a member becomes a captain. 

minuiko:

"Must’ve slipped my mind."

2 million.

That’s how many lives could be saved by lifting the ban on gay blood donors (via micdotcom)

Since 1977, the FDA has banned all men who have ever had sex with another man from ever donating blood. But in recent years, countries like the U.K. and Canada have lifted similar bans, recognizing the inherent and unfounded homophobic stereotypes of these laws. And based on the new research findings, it’s time for the U.S. to do the same. 

(via outforhealth)

thedashinghoodlum:

This was my favorite commercial as a kid

mikasil:

why do people freak out when they see a part of my bra or my stomach like what did you think was under my shirt?? a tank??? the great wall of china???? popular korean artist park jae sang also known as psy????????

manymistypes:

-beth pecora